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[21 Apr 2005|03:03pm] |
oooh havnt updated in fooking ages... i'll say that but i would have
probably done last week sometime in the madness that has been my life.
stayed at clares fook loads. :) we bin going to dry dock nearly every
night...1, cos its a fooking good night out there when us girlys get
together.2, cos of my new boy called garin. hes all purdy and stoofs
and makes me smile. hes dead cool and is ace and.. yeh. hes in a band
too. silent victory, listen to them, u wont regret it. of course i
might be a little bit biased, since im going out with the singer (wow!)
but they are fucking ace. id say that even if i wernt going out with
him.aww hes so cute and sweet and ooof! oh yeah... urm, kinda love him,
which im not complaining about. its weird, weve only been going out a
week, but we really click and stuff and he "gets me" kinda thing. awww.
oh, and he loves me too, which is good. obviously. and he DOESNT make
me feel stupid, he DOESNT treat me like shit and he DOESNT act like a
twat.....so yeh.....end.
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[09 Apr 2005|03:50pm] |
"Side Walk When She Walks"
Dressed to kill, you look so right
I am drunk with lust tonight
Your wounds are opening wide
And they might be just my size
Now I'm afraid of open water
But I often bathe in sin
Let's be honest, you know you shouldn't bother
'Cuz with me, it's impossible to win
Dressed to kill, you look so right
I am drunk with lust tonight
Your wounds are opening wide
And they might be just...
There was always
Warmth between us
There was always
Warmth between us
Dressed to kill, you look so right
I am drunk with lust tonight
Your wounds are opening wide
And they might be just my size
Just my size, just my size
Just my size, just my size
Just my size, just my size
Just my size, just my size
Just my size.
i <3 this song so much!
too drunk to update right now, had an ace night... ill do it later.. sleep now, yes at 4 pm.. im having a nap cos im sitll fooked.
xxxx
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[07 Apr 2005|03:37am] |
hey
got a tattoo yesterday. i <3 it soooo much
ill take pictures and put them up as soon as i get the softwear for my shiney new digital camera! also dyed my hair purple underneath. i will also put pictures up!
im quitting morrisons, im sick of the rumours going round that ive shagged afucking manager, im sick of the way im treated like shit, just cos im the only person who actually does any work. i was there for 9 hours by myself on sunday.i had to do everything, and im sick of it, so im looking for a new job.
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[24 Mar 2005|02:12pm] |
so, le tigre fooking rocked my socks off. it ws so much fooking fun! agh sarah, we need to go on trains more! mcdonalds toys are ace. deceptacons man, deceptacons. i relly did have so much stuff to write, but ive fogotten it all, im tired from last night, baking a cake at 2 in the morning is fun! its clare birthday, hence the cake baking. fancy dress tonight, and im a pirate... or a school girl. but i wanna be a pirate more. im concerened about jack. i dunno whats wrong with him, yeh might be tired, but thats no reason for him being so bloody moody. but its all good withus at the moment, after the recent him being a twat and me threataning to break up with him. sigh... it'll be rite!!
xxxxx
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[12 Mar 2005|09:26pm] |
wow. how good has this week been compared to last week? im not pregnant! yaaaay! my english teacher was nice to me, giving me advice about uni. i got my tragus pierced too! it hurt like hell cos the silly cow didnt numb it properly, but i love it! looks right good. my friend james and his girlfriend charlie got tattos and i really want mine now!!! and work is good
ive been texting john summers, its well weird! shame hes leaving, hes cool.
raaaagh im reet happy for once! yay! happy! cant wait till tomorrow, off to go see le tigre with teh sarah and it is gonna rawk!!!!
<3
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| worst week ever. |
[05 Mar 2005|02:17am] |
ok... soooo.. reasons why it be the worst week ever
1... i may be pregnant
2....my english teacher hates me
3... one of my friends is ignoring me
4... i am currenty at jacks flat... alone. yes, i was `so looking forward to tonight, going out and having fun. but nuuuuuu, i had to fucking spoil it by getting all emotional and shit didnt i? yeah, i fll out with helen tonight. she got a txt from her ex, andi was trying to be a good mate to her but no, she took her bad mood out on me... so i retaliated by using my out door voice when someone asked me if i was ok, replying wsith " no im not, i would apreciate it if helen didnt take her bad mood out on me" and she stormed off. i followed her, and tried to make up with her... maybe its just me, but that wasnt nice of her to take stuff out on me. i was the one who invited her out, i was the one who bought her drinks.
sigh... fter that, i wasnt in the mood to get drunk so i got my boys flat key and walked to the`armories from the center of leeds on my billie jo, freezing my fucking ass off.i know everyone is gonna be thinking im pathetic, especially as james said "it wouldnt be the same" when he `saw me crying.
im such a fucking loser...
oh... and im drunk
xxx
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[27 Feb 2005|07:52pm] |
so.. i made a total utter fool of myself at work today
why the fuck do i have this patetic school girl crush on john fucking summers?
its pathetic. as if him and everyone else in the store isnt mocking me.
i feel like such a loser.
actually, a AM A LOSER.
im going to bar risa soon to see this woman
she is hot. and dirty. but very hot.
i need to go out and get drunk more.
i now have a myspace
life is good
xxxx
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[12 Feb 2005|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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hello all
so, jack is being uberly luffly and stuffs. its nice, i like it. the other day we went to maxis express for all you can eat and it was so much fun... even though i had to pay : ) its like were alled loved up again, its nice and i want it to stay like this.
work is getting interesting, how can it not be when you have john summers (a store manager thingy) calling you a 3 stone goth and you could throw me around the bedroom quite nicely. i obviously objected to this since i am neither 3 stone or a goth. yes i am skinny, and next to claire the bakery manager, i probably do look 3 stone, since shes not the smallest of ladies, and i have dark hair and wear eyeliner to work, so i probably do look gothesque. anywho i decided to retaliate with jokes ive heard about him and his pervy ways, like how he thinks theres nothing wrong with leaving a girl in the woods in a pool of semen. he claimed that thats how he was trained when he worked for safeways. its all pretty funny, at least im enjoying morrisons a little bit more, now that im constantly having the piss taken out of me by a manager. its all a joke though, so its ok. oh and he also thinks i want to have sex with him.
i seem to have a severe lack of self esteem... again. i was out last saturday and i was wearing a black skirt, a black vest top, my pink star belt and my pink converse with black laces. i thought i looked ok, a bit casual, since everone else was wearing shoes and blazers and such. and then, in the toilets of revolution "you look shit". not to my face, under her breath. this stupid blonde big boobed fucking slag and her equally slaggy mate, said i looked like shit. and i cried like a baby. i dont know what it was, whether id had too much to drink or what but i couldnt stop crying. im such a loser! i felt so pathetic, just sitting there behind my hair crying when i should have just thought "fuck you" and had fun. but no. i let it ruin my night. i havent felt that bad about my self for ages. and now, i cant stop comparing my self to every gorgeous girl who walks past. im so plain and boring. i wish i could not give a shit about how i look but meh, i cant help it. im fine with my weight, i dont feel disqustingly skinny anymore... face.. meh, ok. i dont know whats wrong! i guess i just need better posh going out clothes. even so, those girls have stuck in my mind and i cant stop thinking about it.
oooh ooh, and my mum is a fucking bitch and i hate her guts. whenever she realises she has a daughter in leeds and decides to ring me, im gonna tell her to fuck off and leave me alone. who speaks to their daughter once every 5 months. my mum thats who. fucking mormon bitch, your religion says that family is the most important thing, families can be together forever and all that.... guess youre not a good fucking mormon then, as well as a shitty mother. i dont hate mormons by the way, i have mormon friends who are very nice.
anywho, enough ranting for now, hopefully next time i update i'll be happy.
xxx
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[01 Feb 2005|08:25pm] |
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soo.... i am so pissed off right now you have no idea. I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD YESTERDAY JACK!!!! and your fucking excuse is "i told u how i couldnt hear my phone cos it was on silent and under a load of shit" that is the shittest excuse ever. you have no idea how mad, how fucking insane i was going. i couldnt breathe. i downd a bottle of rank wine, and the stuff my aunt got for xmas and got pissed off my face because i thought you, the love of my life was fucking dead. sorry to whoever else reads this and thinks this is over dramatic, im sorry but that is how i felt. if you think its pathetic go fuck yourselves, i really dont care, because i know im not some melodramatic cow.
p.s im really very angry at jack, no one else, i luf you all very much. :)
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| incubus-megalomaniac |
[26 Jan 2005|05:36pm] |
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Hey hey. so i havent actually posted a half decent thing in ages. but nothing that interesting has happened, because i am boring. seriously, my life consists of morrisons and school. i dont go out hardley ever, and the person who claims they love me finds me annoying and doesnt seem to care about me. i keep wondering whether going back out was such a good idea. and then i realise i love him and want to be with him. sigh. he doesnt seem to get how much i actually do love him. school is also poo. im so behind courseworkwise.it sucks. i need money!!!! i wanna go out and get totally wasted. i wanna have fun.
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[06 Jan 2005|04:03pm] |
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1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
realised how happy i was. fell totally in love.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
nope. yeah ive made a few
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope
4. Did anyone close to you die?
my step mums dad diedin november, and her uncle died on christmas day, an hour after i met him. i wasnt close to him, but still..
5. What countries did you visit?
none
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
better grades.
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
i dont know, none really
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting over a lot of bad stuff. getting an a in my drama performance
9. What was your biggest failure?
realising how much of a shitty effort i put into school
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
don't think so.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
hmm... dunno really
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
my dad, for being great
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
everyone knows who, not mentioning names.. and my mum
14. Where did most of your money go?
um.. i have no idea.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
leeds fest
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
last summer, lostprophets. reminds me of leeds fest. also the taste of ink by the used and sic transit gloria by brand new... common room memories
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, so much happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner.. not good
iii. richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
trying at school, getting drunk
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
pissing about and not studying hard enough, especially for psychology.
20. How did you Christmas?
at my step.. grandmas house.. i think
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
yup.
23. How many one-night stands?
0
24. What was your favorite TV program?
i found a new love for coranation street. and hollyoaks, love it!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
probably.
26. What was the best book you read?
urm.. i dont remember
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
joy division, after hearing the distillers play no love lost at leeds fest, i bought a cd after, and now love them.
28. What did you want and get?
to meet the distillers. i got 2 hours queing, waiting to meet the distillers. and lots of fun(wanted and got)
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
kill bill
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
had a shit time at work for 9 hours.. i was 18.. oooh, im a big girl now!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
meeting the distillers at leeds fest... the bastards!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
um.. i have no fucking clue.. "becky".....lol "emo" (its your fault sarah, you told me how the emo was coming out in me)
34. What kept you sane?
music and friends
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
oooh, obviously, i f you know me, you will know that i adore brody.um...i dunno really. i realised how pretty uma thurman is. andy from the distillers is hot, and ian watkins.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
um... nothing
37. Who did you miss?
my brothers.
38. Who were the best new people you met?
um.. i dunno, i didnt really meet many new people. but the people i did meet at the distillers in feb were pretty cool. ooh and sarahs crazy scottish friend at leeds fest, even though it was for a short time, she was cool(dont know how to spell her name!)
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
to let go of the past and look to the future!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"another year has passed and im alright" the distillers, i am a revenant
hope everyone had a good christmas and new year. me and jack got back together, and he better not fuck me about again, people think im being stupid, but i cant help it, i love him(yes dad ha, i love him)
xxxx | |
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[12 Dec 2004|06:48pm] |
ok... hate is a strong word. i mildly dislike you right now.
*see previous entry*
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[10 Dec 2004|09:19pm] |
its over
me and jack are over. fuck. i cant belive it. how can someone who loves me want me time. its like, he wants to go out, have fun, but if it doesnt work out hes got me. i know that isnt how it is, but its how it feels. you say that theres a chance that this isnt the end but im not so sure. i know you'll find someone else, prettier, funnier, sweeter than me. but i wont get over this... i love you too much. were still friends and thats great. but i will always want more. but im gonna take each day as it comes with you
helen, now that i have had time to think. i hate you, how can you even consider fucking somebody while im upstairs crying my heart out. some friend you are.
but, i won a cruise. yey. go me.
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| woo woo |
[27 Nov 2004|10:10pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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so, i dont remember the last time i updated, so.... hmm
it was my birthday on the 21st! yay! 18.. legal for... everything, i think. i got a new phone off my dad, ramones cd off of sarah(thankyou muchly its ace), shot glasses and blue alcopoppy stuff from lucy, lucy g made me a present " the jub jub man"... photos coming soon im sure. my mum got my a foot spa thing, which i will only use out of bordem probably, and massagey sponge things, and jack got me.... underwear. pretty underwear, which i think says a lot.
went to see lost prophets, was fucking ace, apart from throwing up in front of 18 visions, and not realising so until sarah told me... how classy am i? lol.
thought a lot about me and jack, and about whats going on. it seems weird now, i dont know why, and i dont like it. i dont want it going all shitty, like it has been latley, always fighting and pissing each other off, and me crying. i want to to get back how it was, and it probably never will. i also dont want him to go to japan next year, cos it could destroy us. and i love him so much. love sucks.....
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[22 Nov 2004|02:13am] |
yey! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!!
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[10 Nov 2004|05:54pm] |
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mood |
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so............ i havent updated this thing in ages! things that have changed:
1. i have a job, at morrisons. its not much fun.
2. i'm 18, in a week (21st)
3. im fucking up my english, totally. i could even get kicked off the course. :(
4. i dont know where to go to uni, or what to do with my life anymore.
5. ive become a cry baby.
humpf. thats right, i cry at everything. im stupid. i dont know what to write. hopefully something interesting will happen to me soon. im so bored with my life.
PAY DAY TOMMORROW!!!!!!!!
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| I LOVE LEEDS FEST!!! |
[30 Aug 2004|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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placebo- pure morning |
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Hello all. so , leeds fest rocked my socks. the only shitty thing that happened was being so close to meeeting and getting stuff signed by the distillers at the signing tent, they were half an hour late to come to the signing tent (somone told me brody was ill, she certainly looked it, still gorgeous though!)so didnt have enough time to meet everyone cos the que was huge and i was in the last quarter of it. I cried so much, and i feel real stoopid because i'll meet them one day. its just that when they came out i got so excited and thought theyd be enough time. i got some good pictures which i shall post when i get them developed of brody at the signing tent and the gig.so...
*FRIDAY:
Dropkick muphys- fucking ace
the streets- not my thing but a good live band
lostprophets- wow!
placebo- a bit boring really
green day- amazing
rahzel(the human beatbox)- brilliant, i was blown away by him, hes so talented, who knew beat boxing and singing at the same time was possible?!
I also heard bits of the rasmus (shit band, ok live, sounds just like on a cd) and auf der maur (who sounded ace)
*SATURDAY:
Goldie lookin' chain- brilliasnt
Distillers- ace, the best ive seen them play
the offspring-wondrful
the darkness- fucking blew me away!!
i didnt actuallly see that many bands on saturday because i was too busy trying, and failing, to meet the distillers. dammit.
*SUNDAY:
the 5.6.7.8's- awww theyre so cute!!! like theyre t-shirt (to buy) said, girls kick ass.. these ones certainly do!
the holiday plan- rocked my world
i then stayed by the tents most of the day, cos i misse alexisonfire, flogging molly, coheed and cambria and bouncing souls, but at the time i was too tired and wet to care.
goldfinger-amazing, as always
dizzee rascal- i didnt really wanna go see him, as i dont like rappy hip hop shite usually, i went cos i wanted to get my groove on, which i did, cos he was fucking ace!!!
i heard sick of it all, they sounded amazing!
the white stripes- i have a new found respect for them, ive seen them before (at leeds fest 2 years back) and didnt really listen to them, but theres 2 of them.. just 2!!!!!!! i also love meg white, she has such a good attitudeand looks so ccol on those drums. even so, we got bored so we went to see how my homeboys, A, were doing( i dont know them or owt, theyre from the same part of leeds i am) who were also boring, unfortunatly. so we all went back to the tent ant and got well drunked.
well thats enough for today, im tired even though ive been sleeping all day, so im off to bed. distillers pictures coming soon....
xxx
<333
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